Adulting Issa Scam

Adulting Issa Scam

It’s 4:27am, I’m laying in bed…downloading the series Billions, listening to Lady Gaga’s Joanne album and thinking about how I don’t want to ‘adult’ again 😌

This is not your run-of-the-mill post… I’ll be a year older in a few months, I’m in that age bracket where you’re young but not so young that responsibilities are pulling up so high. When I say responsibilities I also mean expectations from yourself, family and society. 

I’m at this conflicting stage where you want to go do something crazy, carefree, travel whenever you feel like because YOLO (right?) but you can only wish. Why? BILLS! BILLS! BILLS! The way the economy is set up, everything has more than doubled in prices but you still gotta eat and survive, right? 

This wasn’t what I envisioned growing up. When I was 15 I literally had my life planned out: university by 16, graduate by 20, finish NYSC 21, work for 2 years with a serious relationship, get married at 24, have 2-3 kids, build and run a business empire; life legit looked at me like:

I finished secondary at 15, wrote JAMB and POST-JAMB (or is it UTME? Y’all know what I’m talmbout) for 3 years, no admission…not for the lack of brilliantly passing don’t get me wrong 😭 (I legit have receipts for the Thomases). My first trial at JAMB I had 272, wrote POST-UTME same year at Imo State Uni made a 384/400 but guess what? I received a “sorry you’re not qualified” bs on my printout 😂. Same thing repeated in the next 2 years. My parents were the “it’s Government school or nothing” typa parents. The last straw was my entry for Unilag. I put in for Economics, cut off that year was a 72…I made a 69; second choice was Marketing which cutoff was 67 (I think). Guess what? I was given admission to study History Education 😭😂. 

See, you know the Nigerian system (I don’t know about other countries) literally sets you up to fail; it’s out of sheer personal efforts and hard work that you’ll ever succeed (that’s story for another day). Still, we move👊🏾

I’m now 23, currently done with school and NYSC, running my business, living on my own (I’m the last born but I’ve always been independent). Sometimes I wonder how I’m still standing. Life is tough. Period. This isn’t what I expected when I was rushing to grow up. 

If I could, I would go back to my childhood years where I only had to worry about what meal I wanted to eat next, giving my mum mini HBP 😂and breaking my leg (I was a very problematic kid😌); this adult life isn’t it at all. 

Adulting should come with a free trial.

I mean you should be allowed to unsubscribe if you don’t like it 😩 and remain a child. 

You go to get groceries, small play bill will be 15,000 naira and you’ll be left reaching for an inhaler while clutching your chest

Bag of 5kg Basmati rice that used to be 3,500 naira then 4,000 then 4,500 the other day I found out was now odindin 6,500 naira. Ahn! small play. 

Impulse buyers and luxury lovers… all I can say is LOOOOOOOOL! You see things online, add to cart but your wallet be looking at you like: 😭😂

I’m a makeup artist (amongst other things), I don’t even want to get started on how beauty products have more than doubled in prices because $$! At least the Naira is leveling “small small” but I’ll sit down in the middle of Third Mainland Bridge if and when it gets to $1= N200 (issa joke 😂)

Going out is now a luxury. Once you open your gate, 5k ‘s gone 😪. N10k is the new N1k. Still we move!

             Going out is now a luxury 

Living on my own has made me more appreciative of my parents tbh. I now smh at all the instances where I whined & cried for silly things, giving them unnecessary headache 🤕 in the past. 

I’m writing this for others like me who sometimes lose sleep, wake up feeling overwhelmed, I want to tell you that: YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE WILL ALL BE FINE…eventually. Just be consistent with what you’re doing, strive to be better and do better in your endeavors and also as a human being. The goal is to work so hard we’ll be able to afford our needs and wants without flinching and doing calculus 😭. 

To you kids please take your time, enjoy being catered for/to. Don’t rush to grow up. This adult life Issa scam. 

Q. E. D. 



  1. I was literally having this convo with a friend yesterday. This adulting, I dont want again. I want to return to boarding school when everything was planned out,provided for and all. Adulting really is a scam, but as you said, WE MOVE! We put our trust in God and we push fam! Thanks for this. kizzez

  2. I can totally relate. A free trial would have prepared us. Issa real scam.

    1. I swear. It can be tiring sometime

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